I know you want to feel confident being yourself.
Girl, your “kind and helpful” tank is bone dry.
Being around people is not supposed to be this draining.
Let’s make relationships more enjoyable okay?
Relationships where
you feel relaxed around people
can drop the worry of being liked
and show up as your authentic self
Hey, I’m Vicki.
Ugh! Hustling for approval sucks.
I can’t believe everything I did to make things work in relationships! Living with a ton of fear, obligation and guilt every day is freaking depressing dude!
For so long I was too scared to show up. I was convinced I would be rejected and judged.
But…I found my way out of the people pleasing trap thank god!
And I can get you out too!
Who I do my best work with
People pleasers
who are exhausted trying to be perfect in their relationships. (Yes, I work with perfectionists too!)
who are eaten up by resentment, but don’t know what to do with their inner anger.
who are tired of biting their tongues and only feeling safe enough to vent to themselves in the shower!
who just want someone to ask how THEY are doing for once!
Somehow you got the message (thanks early childhood experiences!) that it was your responsibility to make things peaceful and happy in relationships.
Wake up girl!
You’ve held up shit by yourself long enough!
Let’s figure out who YOU are and what YOU want and then get YOU to authentically live it out!
How I make the magic happen!
My secret sauce has two, well, three main ingredients –
Mindfulness
Internal Family Systems
Nervous System regulation (a fancy way of saying “techniques to calm the f*ck down”)
I love these because they bust up the stuck places where we are on autopilot.
But they do it in a way that teaches us how to work with ourselves instead of fight and criticize our way into change.
That never works, but these approaches do!
My clients continually say,
“I have never thought about it like that before!”
Who doesn’t want to change their perspective, step outside of their ingrained habits and feel freaking calm inside?!!
Not a lot of folks know about IFS so If you’d like to know more check it out here.
Why I do this work
I’ve never naturally felt part of the group, either in my family (I am sort of the odd one) or with friends. I became a therapist because I wanted to figure out why people did what they did and I wanted to understand myself.
I truly thought I would always
keep myself small
feel terrified to speak up
second guess everything
People pleasing is such a heavy weight and I carried it around for YEARS in ALL my relationships.
But through doing a ton of my own work and the time I spent with clients in my psychotherapy practice, I actually started seeing some changes. Small, but hell…I’ll take it!
I cobbled together the main hurdles we have as people pleasers and created a plan. All the things I stumbled upon that had a positive effect of me. All the things I threw out there to therapy clients that made a difference.
This plan helped me start speaking up and leaving relationships that weren’t for me. And I watched my clients feel more empowered to do the things they believed were impossible – my favorite was standing up to the bossy neighbor! Yes girl! Whoo hoo!
What stood out most from all the progress was that my people pleasing clients were the ones leaving therapy. I knew this worked and needed to be shared outside of the one-on-one work I was able to do as a therapist in my office.
So I created…
I am a nut job when it comes to sharing this stuff. I cannot stop myself!
Thank you so much for inviting me to learn with you. It’s been one of the very best things I have done for my own mental health and development in years.
— L.H.
Outside of my work…
I am a nature freak. I annoy the shit out of my husband and dogs when we hike because I have to stop at every fern and take 10 pics. Here’s one! I think its awesome.
I am a dog parent and a HUGE animal lover. I’ve learned more about my heart from rescuing dogs than any other experience or relationship.
I became a drummer in my 40s! I’ve played live with a group of ridonkulously talented ladies several times!
*To date I’ve only played with women rockers and I love it!
That time I rapped at a fundraising gig in my neighborhood. Soooo fun!!!
I got into CrossFit after being a dedicated yogi for…oh…almost 20 years. The switch has fired me up and now I consider myself a badass whenever I show up to a workout!
Other info in case you’re interested!
Education
- State University of West Georgia (1999)
- Masters of Education, Community Counseling speciality
- Internship and first job – Metro Atlanta Recovery Residences (90 residential treatment program for addiction)
- Completed clinical hours and 2nd job – Summit Ridge Behavioral Hospital in Outpatient Group Therapy Program
- Psychotherapy Private Practice – 2003-Present
Specialized Training
- Hatha Yoga Teacher Training 200 hour (2002)
- Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy (2003-2004)
- Classical Yoga Teacher Training 200 hour (2008)
- Internal Family Systems L1 & L2 (2012-2014)
- Enneagram Narrative Level 1 (2018)
- Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Training w/ Jack Kornfield & Tara Brach (2019-2021)