Category Archives: Blog

My experience with boundaries used to be an intellectual understanding and a “should”. I sort of stated them when I was angry enough, but even then they still came out in this mumbled flimsy manner.

In Internal Family Systems there is a concept called Self Energy. It’s a quality we all have and yet we lose access to it through our normal daily reactivities.  Self-Energy is basically a quality that allows us to feel like we know ourselves, our patterns, our blind-spots and our strengths. I like to call it True Self or even WiseContinue reading “The 8 C’s – qualities of Strength, Stability and Resilience”

I talk a lot with clients about their inner critics because its one of the first inner voices we hear. One client told me, “If my critic isn’t on me all the time, my world will come down like a ton of bricks.” They have to consider every angle of everything. Why do we get caught in our critics so easily?

I am not sure I have ever been in a place like this before. It was my tipping point. A clear as day message to myself, “I create my own suffering.” So now what? No one is going to lead the charge to change but me. Crap. Well, here goes nothing.

And we often judge and avoid anger or conflict bc we FELT what it was like to receive it, but we cant avoid feeling anger because we are human. But we judge our anger as we judged the angry person’s expression of it. 

People pleasers, caretakers, those with codependency, we live with the mistaken belief that being needed equals feeling connected.

Not so.